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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267596">ruin our friendship</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhkyu/pseuds/minhkyu'>minhkyu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crushes, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, How Do I Tag, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:46:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhkyu/pseuds/minhkyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hyunjin likes jisung.<br/>they're 'just friends'.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ruin our friendship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>inspired by the song 'jenny' by studio killers.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>jisung pulled the sheets over his body, wrapping his arms around hyunjin's waist. the older bit his bottom lip, body tensing up against his touch. it didn't go unnoticed.</p><p>the atmosphere changed ever so slightly, and jisung pulled back, eyebrows furrowing. he relayed a small tap on hyunjins shoulder, physically catching his attention. hyunjin turned around. "yeah?"</p><p>"am i.. am i making you uncomfortable?" jisung questioned, keeping his voice low and quiet, as to not wake up felix and changbin from the other side of the room.</p><p>hyunjin's eyes widened, and he immediately spoke up to protest. "what?! no- of course not. i'm just..." he looked away for a small second, trying to formulate a believable excuse in his head. what really could he say?</p><p>he had liked jisung for a few months now, as more than just a friend. he kept quiet about it, not wanting to make things awkward for the both of them. he started observing jisung more, trying to look for signs, any signs, that he liked him back. he couldn't find any.</p><p>so he kept his feelings to himself. he conversed with his own mind, making up reasons why jisung didn't like him back, why he was just a friend, just a small crush from an idol to another. besides, they already had two relationships in the group, they couldn't afford to have anymore; the staff would surely start to notice, along with stays.</p><p>"i was just surprised. i thought you were seungmin." he managed to get out. it wasn't technically a lie; he was surprised, but he knew it was jisung. he could tell. from the warmth of his body to the grasp of his arms.</p><p>"oh.. alright." jisung went back to hugging him, pulling him closer. hyunjin inhaled, exhaled, forcing himself to stay calm. stop acting like this, it's just a crush.</p><p>
  <em>just a crush.</em>
</p><p>jisung crossed a leg over hyunjin's thigh, chin on his shoulder.</p><p>
  <em>just a crush.</em>
</p><p>he reached for hyunjin's hand, grabbing it and squeezing it tightly.</p><p>
  <em>just a crush.</em>
</p><p>a few minutes later, hyunjin felt jisung's breathing grow softer, and his head start to fall, obviously asleep. their hands were still intertwined.</p><p>
  <em>just a crush.</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>the next day, hyunjin managed to slip out of bed first, taking extra care not to wake up the younger. he grudgingly walked out the door, making his way to the dining room.</p><p>there was food already neatly set on the table, probably by either chan or felix; from the looks of the slightly burnt waffles with dollops of whipped creams and mountains of toppings, it was most likely felix.</p><p>"like it?" he heard the aforementioned boy say from behind him. he turned around to see felix with a small grin on his face. his hair was slightly messy, freckles shining through his bare face. he had an apron on, confirming hyunjin's thoughts.</p><p>"i haven't tried it yet, but i'm sure it's nice." hyunjin mused, voice small. felix's smile grew even wider. "thanks, hyung!" he walked off somewhere else, probably notifying the other members.</p><p>now, the only ones there were hyunjin, chan, and minho.</p><p>"sit down." chan reprimanded gently, australian accent ringing through the room. "felix worked hard on this." hyunjin followed his orders, purposely sitting in the spot next to jisung. it was changbin's spot, but he was sure the older wouldn't mind... right?</p><p>just a few seconds after that thought, somebody cleared their throat, tapping hyunjin. the blonde haired dancer turned around to see changbin himself with one raised eyebrow.</p><p>he got the message clear and thorough. he sighed, moving back to his original spot. jisung came next, looking as attractive as always. hyunjin looked away, his cheeks burning from the sight of him.</p><p>"hey." minho got the attention of everyone else, leaving hyunjin free to stare at jisung. "did you know that if you use someone else's chapstick or lipstick, it's basically an indirect kiss?"</p><p>jeongin widened his eyes, innocence showing through his fox-like face. "woah, really?"</p><p>"yeah.. i read it right here..." minho leaned over to jeongin to show him his phone screen, leaving hyunjin to his own mind.</p><p>after a few seconds of his thoughts processing, hyunjin excused himself from the table, saying he had to go do something. chan let him go.</p><p>he ran to jisung's shared room, shuffling through his messy drawers till finally finding a small, carmex-branded chapstick.</p><p>he shoved it into his pocket, walking into the bathroom. once there, he closed the door, applying the product to his lips in a precise manner. he stared in the mirror, chapstick in one hand, lips glossy with <em>han</em> <em>jisung's</em> chapstick.</p><p>he shook himself out of his trance, moving to get out of the bathroom, till a sudden idea ran through his head.</p><p>he turned back around, leaning towards the mirror, and leaving a slightly sticky lip-shaped kiss on the surface of the glass.</p><p>there, perfect.</p><p>he got out, hurriedly placing the chapstick back in jisung's drawer, hoping that the younger rapper wouldn't notice anything different.</p><p>the cap stayed in his pocket.</p><p>-</p><p>after breakfast, they got to do anything they wanted, seeing as they didn't have an exactly clear schedule that day, and most of them finished with what they had to do already.</p><p>hyunjin tentatively walked up to jisung, tongue in cheek. "hey, do you wanna hang out wit-" he was cut off as soon as he started his sentence.</p><p>"sorry, jinnie, but felix and i already made plans." he motioned over to felix next to him, who was clinging off of jisung's arm with a bright smile.</p><p>hyunjin felt a pang of jealousy strike his heart. he knew it was wrong, to be liking jisung this much that he was actually jealous, but... he couldn't help it.</p><p>he knew the feeling of slight anger he got when he watched jisung and felix walk out the door was ever so selfish, but he couldn't help that either. besides, felix had changbin... and felix didn't cheat, hyunjin knew for a fact. so why did he feel so out-of-control over this situation?</p><p>did he really like jisung <em>that much?</em></p><p>he stayed there for a few moments, in exact silence, thoughts getting the best of him; before breathing out a sigh, and making his way to jisung's room.</p><p>seungmin made a joke one time about how they should've just switched up the dorms more so that hyunjin could sleep with jisung, as most of the time hyunjin didn't even bother going to his own dorm.</p><p>it was always jisung's.</p><p>because jisung... he was himself. he was just... different from the rest.</p><p>as hyunjin flopped down onto jisung's bed, burying himself into the younger's blanket (that smelled so much like him, fragrant cologne and dark chocolate), he begun to realize just how different jisung was from the other members.</p><p>he was different from chan, who acted more of a parental figure to hyunjin, more like an older brother, somebody who was always there when he needed him, someone who always gave advice and tips, the wisest and boldest in the group, the one that held them all together. jisung wasn't like a brother or a parental figure. he was like a...</p><p>moving on.</p><p>he was different from minho, who, once again, was more like a brother to him. he teased him a whole lot, sure, but he was also really nice and knew how to listen and how to give good advice, and he was also a shoulder to cry on when hyunjin needed it.</p><p>he was different from jeongin, the baby of their group. jeongin was jisung's little brother. they played games together a lot, joked around with each other a lot, talked to each other a lot. when things got rough, jeongin was there to cheer him up, and vice versa.</p><p>he was different from felix, who was practically jisung's twin flame. they bonded with each other a lot, unseparated. they could tell each other secrets and stories with no shame, laughing at the slightest things. felix wasn't just a little brother to him or a cousin, he was his twin, as said before.</p><p>he was different from seungmin, who, sure; hyunjin was close to, maybe even bordering on the edge of un-platonic, but nonetheless, he was still just a friend. just another brother. hyunjin did have romantic feelings for him at one point, but it turned out to be just a small crush, unlike-</p><p>
  <em>just a crush.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>jisung is just a crush.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>just a crush.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>he. is. just. a. crush.</em>
</p><p>he was different from changbin. hyunjin was also very close to changbin, but once again, they were still only team-mates. they got very touchy sometimes, though nothing romantic. they liked to tease each other a lot, hyunjin more than changbin, but still, it was platonic.</p><p>
  <em>jisung...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>jisung was different.</em>
</p><p>hyunjin knew for a fact that jisung was different. he couldn't ignore how every time jisung slipped into his bed next to him, his heart clenched with that familiar euphoric feeling that only jisung could bring.</p><p>he couldn't ignore how when jisung's hand would brush by his, heat stirred up in his skin, tingles never leaving the spot where he touched.</p><p>he couldn't ignore how when felix or seungmin or changbin or minho or chan got close to jisung, he felt that familiar pain and jealousy cuff him up.</p><p>he couldn't ignore how every time the other members joked about how much hyunjin liked jisung, a certain emotion would strike him when he realized jisung would only ever view it as a joke.</p><p>he couldn't ignore how when jisung smiled at him or waved at him or even just stood there just being himself without even fucking trying, his day would completely lighten and his shoulders would relax and his mind would clear, and he would walk away silently with flushed pink cheeks and a shy, hazy smile on his lips, the scene replaying in his head over and over again like a broken record <em>because</em>-</p><p>
  <em>justacrushjisungisjustacrushjustacrushhewillonlyeverbejustacrushheisjustacrushjustacrushjustajustajustcrushcrushcrush</em>
</p><p>
  <em>just a crush</em>
</p><p>
  <em>a crush</em>
</p><p>
  <em>crush</em>
</p><p>
  <em>was he?</em>
</p><p>...</p><p>he wasn't just a crush</p><p>he couldn't ignore his emotions.</p><p>he couldn't ignore how much he liked jisung.</p><p>he couldn't ignore that euphoric feeling.</p><p>he couldn't ignore the heat and the tingles.</p><p>he couldn't ignore the pain he got when the other members got close to jisung.</p><p>he couldn't ignore the lump in his throat when the others would joke about him and jisung.</p><p>he couldn't ignore that.</p><p>as much as he tried to, he couldn't ignore those things. his own feelings, his own emotions, his own thoughts. he couldn't just block off that. because they were apart of him.</p><p>he didn't want to admit it, but jisung...</p><p>he sat up in said boy's bed, realization flooding over him like an ocean wave.</p><p>jisung was more than just a mere crush. he was more than just a bandmate. he was more than just a close friend. he was more than all of that.</p><p>he was...</p><p>...</p><p>
  <em>what was he?</em>
</p><p>hyunjin didn't know the answer.</p><p>he slowly sunk down back into the bed, pulling the covers along with him, as he thought in pure silence. if jisung wasn't a friend, a crush, or just another idol. then what was he?</p><p>hyunjin didn't want to think about it anymore. it was hurting his head at this point. right now, for him, the best thing to do would be just to sleep on the situation, and think of it later. his head would get all cleared up as-well.</p><p>content with that one thought, he got into his usual sleeping position; hugging jisung's pillow close to his chest, metaphorically drowning in the comfort of it.</p><p>he would sleep. for now.</p><p>-</p><p>hyunjin woke up to that unmistakeable pair of arms around his torso. that hazy feeling invaded his sense once again, skin burning subconsciously at the touch of the other.</p><p>
  <em>this is your chance.</em>
</p><p>"hey." jisung's calm, smooth voice reverberated throughout his ears. a shiver ran down hyunjin's spine, goosebumps forming on his pale skin.</p><p>
  <em>tell him.</em>
</p><p>"h-hi.." hyunjin cursed himself internally for stuttering. he didn't dare to turn around. he was sure he would freak out even more at the sight of jisung's face.</p><p>
  <em>don't be afraid.</em>
</p><p>"how are you? your forehead is a tad bit hot, which kind of worries me." jisung sounded laid back, but a concerned undertone remained in place, sincerity shining throughout his words. hyunjin inhaled and exhaled. for some reason, his heart warmed at the fact that he had worried jisung. because... if he had worried jisung... that meant that jisung was thinking about him.</p><p>
  <em>just tell him already.</em>
</p><p>"i'm fine." hyunjin muttered. this was a lie. he wasn't fine. jisung had been on his mind all day, and now the said individual was right behind him, right now; driving his emotions crazy. he definitely wasn't fine.</p><p>
  <em>tell. him.</em>
</p><p>jisung made a tiny 'hm..' noise from behind him. hyunjin fought the urge to smile, and yet still, the right corner of his lip upturned slightly, showcasing his feelings. "are you sure?"</p><p>
  <em>take your chance or leave it.</em>
</p><p>hyunjin finally made the decision to turn around. his eyes met with jisung's, and he quickly looked down, not able to face him in the eye. "i'm sure." he affirmed, voice quiet.</p><p>
  <em>it's not that hard, just tell him.</em>
</p><p>a hand ran through his hair; soft, comforting. hyunjin leaned into the touch, eyes wanting to close. he relished the affection, pulse beating the way it always did when he was around jisung.</p><p>
  <em>tell him how you feel.</em>
</p><p>"i love you." jisung mumbled.</p><p>
  <em>TELL HIM.</em>
</p><p>that was it.</p><p>hyunjin got up, accidentally pushing jisung off onto the sheets. jisung's face immediately changed into one of a puzzled look. "wha- hyung, what's wrong?"</p><p>he couldn't dare to look at him, not now.</p><p>he took a deep breath, before finally deciding to speak up.</p><p>"how much?" he turned to his right, facing jisung directly. hyunjin's eyes were narrowed, lips pursed. jisung stared at him with that same confused expression, before slowly pushing himself into a sitting position as well.</p><p>"hyunjin, what do you mean?" his words carried a careful air. methodical, organized. he stared at hyunjin with the same expression chan used on the younger members. that look with the crossed arms, the furrowed eyebrows, the invading eyes, the detective aura.</p><p>hyunjin hated it.</p><p>he started up again, a sudden rush of adrenaline coursing throughout his veins, pulsing at his heartbeat. "you know what i mean. y-you..." hyunjin bit his lip, continuing. "how much do you love me? why do you love me? what do you love me as? do you really love me or are you just saying it to.. to toy with my emotions?" his lips trembled, still remnant with carmex chapstick.</p><p>jisung stared at him, back to the puzzled expression. "hyunjin hyung, calm down; please."</p><p>hyunjin stared back. harsh, defiant. "no."</p><p>the younger of the two was taken aback by that, a small dose of shock on his face. he quickly cleared up his composure. "no?"</p><p>he had to keep trying. "tell me how you feel about me. am i just a friend? just a bandmate? just..." his brain couldn't keep up with his sentences. "just tell me, jisung. please."</p><p>jisung looked down, lips slightly apart, as if he didn't know what to say next. he sighed, looking away from hyunjin. there was silence, till jisung finally decided to speak up.</p><p>"jinnie, i love you."</p><p>a pause.</p><p>"and not as a friend."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is my first ao3 post !!<br/>show some love &lt;3<br/>instagram: m1nkn0w<br/>wattpad: lxnochu</p></blockquote></div></div>
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